As human beings we have an innate and primitive need to connect and interact with other people. That need is amplified when it comes to those we consider family. As someone who was for a period of time completely distant and removed from my family circle, I began to yearn for those benefits that we reap from having strong and healthy relationships with loved ones. The support offered by family members is hard to find elsewhere and having someone that loves, encourages and gives you a sense of belonging is invaluable. And, we can’t ignore the satisfying feeling we personally get when we can reciprocate those very same things. Sometimes, especially when we reach a dark place in our lives, we sacrifice our relationships with our family. We may burn those bridges intentionally because we don’t acknowledge our value or think were not worthy of being part of our very own family. Other times, the decision is not ours and people choose to distance themselves from us for their own well-being. Not exclusive to people facing hardships, those who are experiencing success may encounter similar situations as they can take family for granted. Whatever the case is and whichever group you may identify with, we usually find ourselves looking for ways to fill the voids left by the need of family. Some choose drugs, many engage in other compulsive behaviors, and others fill their inner circle with toxic people.
When someone realizes that they feel a need to reintegrate into their family, their first thought may be, like mine was, “where do I start?” The fear that the family will not be welcoming and the expectation that it will be a hard process because of how much time you allowed to pass or because you believe the relationships are irreparable will be there. But, if you let those feelings and thoughts deter you, you will never know what the outcome might be! Determine to start small - pick up the phone and call your loved ones. Make them aware that you once again want to a part of their lives. You may find the feeling is mutual and that they have been waiting for that phone call for a very long time. When I realized that for myself, I made my phone call, and I encourage you to make yours.
Ray, Intern at The PILLARS